Monday, March 16, 2009 :::
 

A COWBOY NAMED BUD WAS OVERSEEING HIS HERD IN A REMOTE MOUNTAINOUS

PASTURE IN  CALIFORNIA WHEN SUDDENLY A BRAND-NEW BMW ADVANCED TOWARD HIM

OUT OF A CLOUD OF DUST.

        THE DRIVER, A YOUNG MAN IN A BRIONI SUIT, GUCCI SHOES, RAYBAN

SUNGLASSES AND YSL TIE, LEANED OUT THE WINDOW AND ASKED THE COWBOY, "IF I

TELL YOU EXACTLY HOW MANY COWS AND CALVES YOU HAVE IN YOUR

HERD, WILL YOU GIVE ME A CALF?"  

        BUD

 LOOKS AT THE MAN, OBVIOUSLY A YUPPIE, THEN LOOKS AT HIS

PEACEFULLY GRAZING HERD AND CALMLY ANSWERS, "SURE, WHY NOT?" 

        THE YUPPIE PARKS HIS CAR, WHIPS OUT HIS DELL NOTEBOOK COMPUTER,

CONNECTS IT TO HIS CINGULAR RAZR V3 CELL PHONE, AND SURFS TO A NASA PAGE

ON THE INTERNET, WHERE HE CALLS UP A GPS SATELLITE TO GET AN

EXACT FIX ON HIS LOCATION WHICH HE THEN FEEDS TO ANOTHER NASA

SATELLITE THAT SCANS THE AREA IN AN ULTRA-HIGH-RESOLUTION PHOTO. 

        THE YOUNG MAN THEN OPENS THE

 DIGITAL PHOTO IN ADOBE PHOTOSHOP AND

EXPORTS IT TO AN IMAGE PROCESSING FACILITY IN HAMBURG , GERMANY . 

        WITHIN SECONDS, HE RECEIVES AN EMAIL ON HIS PALM PILOT THAT

 THE

IMAGE HAS BEEN PROCESSED AND THE DATA STORED. HE THEN ACCESSES AN

MS-SQL DATABASE THROUGH AN ODBC CONNECTED EXCEL SPREADSHEET WITH

EMAIL ON HIS BLACKBERRY AND, AFTER A FEW MINUTES, RECEIVES A

RESPONSE. 

       FINALLY, HE PRINTS OUT A FULL-COLOR, 150-PAGE REPORT ON HIS

HI-TECH, MINIATURIZED HP LASERJET PRINTER, TURNS TO THE COWBOY AND SAYS,

"YOU HAVE EXACTLY 1,586 COWS AND CALVES." 

        "THAT’S RIGHT. WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN TAKE ONE OF MY CALVES,"

SAYS BUD.

        HE WATCHES THE YOUNG MAN SELECT ONE OF THE ANIMALS AND LOOKS ON

WITH AMUSEMENT AS THE YOUNG MAN STUFFS IT INTO THE TRUNK OF HIS CAR. 

        THEN THE BUD SAYS TO THE YOUNG MAN, "HEY, IF I CAN TELL YOU

EXACTLYWHAT YOUR BUSINESS IS, WILL YOU GIVE ME BACK MY CALF?" 

        THE YOUNG MAN THINKS ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND AND THEN SAYS, "OKAY,

WHY NOT?" 

        "YOU’RE A CONGRESSMAN FOR THE U.S. GOVERNMENT", SAYS BUD. 

        "WOW! THAT’S CORRECT," SAYS THE YUPPIE, "BUT HOW DID YOU

 GUESS

THAT?"  

        "NO GUESSING REQUIRED." ANSWERED THE COWBOY. "YOU SHOWED UP

HEREEVEN THOUGH NOBODY CALLED YOU; YOU WANT TO GET PAID FOR AN ANSWER I

ALREADY KNEW, TO A QUESTION I NEVER ASKED. YOU USED MILLIONS OF

DOLLARS WORTH OF EQUIPMENT TRYING TO SHOW ME HOW MUCH SMARTER THAN ME YOU

ARE;

 AND YOU DON’T KNOW A THING ABOUT HOW WORKING PEOPLE MAKE A LIVING -

OR ABOUT COWS, FOR THAT MATTER.  THIS IS A HERD OF SHEEP. ... 

        NOW GIVE ME BACK MY DOG.

::: posted by Curtis aka exeter_acres at Monday, March 16, 2009

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