Monday, September 20, 2004 :::
 

The Pope

The Pope arrives In New York for a private visit. He is met at the
airport by limo driver. After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded
into the limo, and the Pope doesn't travel light, the driver notices
that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "would you please take
your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive
at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if
something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone
to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting
the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105
mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!" pleads the worried driver, but the
Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens and see the
flashing light behind them.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches.
The cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets
on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a
limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean, really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"

::: posted by Curtis aka exeter_acres at 9/20/2004 09:30:00 PM

0 comments

Sunday, September 19, 2004 :::
 

Sweet!! I just received this email today... I'm going to be Rich!!!!


(Do this idiots still think we are that dumb?!?!)

FROM:Miss.PEACE KOFFI OHIRY.
E-MAIL:(peace@colacao.es)
TEL: (+225)07 33 90 40.

Dear respectful,

I am Peace Kofi Ohiry, the dauther of Director General of Ghana Pension Board (GPB), Dr MILLS KOFI OHIRY, who died while in prison.

I find your contact from the Internet schedule, and i decieded to contact you for a very beneficial transaction.

Please i have a very confidencial business i want to carry out with you.It involves the transfer of sixty five million U.S dollar($65,000,000.00) in cash which my late father have successfully deposited in a bank on my behalf.
I humbly solicit you assist me to transfer this said money into your private account for safekeeping and investment purpose.

SOURCE OF THE MONEY:

This money was supposed to be the pension arrears and gratuity of certain late government workers of Ghana ports Authority (GPA). My late father using his prime position seized this opportunity to exploit this sum of money by remitting all the salaries of the dead pensioners into his private account.

Unfortunately, John Agyekum Kuffour heading government legislature passed and approved a bill on probity and accountability of permanent government functionaries, the charge of emblezment and misappropriation of public funds was brought to book and level led against my father and thus he was imprisoned where he then died of cardiac arrest of the heart after 2 months in jail.

Hitherto, my father in a close arrangement had earlier on withdrawn all the money and deposited it in a bank in a nearby country, IVORY COST by his personal adviser where all necessary documents relating to the fund were handed to my junior and only brot her PAUL as his next of kin and only son.

There is an out-blown in Abidjan, the
commercial town of IVORY COAST and the entire country that incurred an atmosphere of insecurity on lives and properties due to their recent political unrest which has pressured the need for a reliable assistance into transfering this said money to an offshore account within the shortest possible time for investing and mostl y for the upkeep and survival of me and my 2 younger ones.


I have agreed and willingly if you could assist me to offer you 15% of the fund, while 5% will be mapped out for off setting Bank Charges, disbursement of bills and other incidental expenses while 80% goes to me and my family.

This transaction would last for possible working days as soon as I recieve your good response I would vividly send to you all the documents relating to this fund to enable you contact the bank of paramount is your bank account details for easy access of transfer and an irrevocable agreement to consolidate the trust over our mutual shearing interests.

All the whole documents issued on the day of deposit are all in my custody but my fear is how safe is the money when transfered into your account; please, I sincerely and honestly pleads that you do betray me as this is the only hope of survival left for me and my 2 younger onse.
Please if you appreciate helping us then you should endeavour to contact my only brother HILLS any time any day on his Mobile line
+225 07339040 so that the two of you will discuss it over and agree
together.

Your responds is highly solicited.

Thanks and best regards
PEACE (for the family)
E-MAIL: peace@colacao.es
Mobile: (+225)07 33 90 40.

::: posted by Curtis aka exeter_acres at 9/19/2004 02:05:00 PM

0 comments

 

Sweet!! I just received this email today... I'm going to be Rich!!!!


(Do this idiots still think we are that dumb?!?!)

FROM:Miss.PEACE KOFFI OHIRY.
E-MAIL:(peace@colacao.es)
TEL: (+225)07 33 90 40.

Dear respectful,

I am Peace Kofi Ohiry, the dauther of Director General of Ghana Pension Board (GPB), Dr MILLS KOFI OHIRY, who died while in prison.

I find your contact from the Internet schedule, and i decieded to contact you for a very beneficial transaction.

Please i have a very confidencial business i want to carry out with you.It involves the transfer of sixty five million U.S dollar($65,000,000.00) in cash which my late father have successfully deposited in a bank on my behalf.
I humbly solicit you assist me to transfer this said money into your private account for safekeeping and investment purpose.

SOURCE OF THE MONEY:

This money was supposed to be the pension arrears and gratuity of certain late government workers of Ghana ports Authority (GPA). My late father using his prime position seized this opportunity to exploit this sum of money by remitting all the salaries of the dead pensioners into his private account.

Unfortunately, John Agyekum Kuffour heading government legislature passed and approved a bill on probity and accountability of permanent government functionaries, the charge of emblezment and misappropriation of public funds was brought to book and level led against my father and thus he was imprisoned where he then died of cardiac arrest of the heart after 2 months in jail.

Hitherto, my father in a close arrangement had earlier on withdrawn all the money and deposited it in a bank in a nearby country, IVORY COST by his personal adviser where all necessary documents relating to the fund were handed to my junior and only brot her PAUL as his next of kin and only son.

There is an out-blown in Abidjan, the
commercial town of IVORY COAST and the entire country that incurred an atmosphere of insecurity on lives and properties due to their recent political unrest which has pressured the need for a reliable assistance into transfering this said money to an offshore account within the shortest possible time for investing and mostl y for the upkeep and survival of me and my 2 younger ones.


I have agreed and willingly if you could assist me to offer you 15% of the fund, while 5% will be mapped out for off setting Bank Charges, disbursement of bills and other incidental expenses while 80% goes to me and my family.

This transaction would last for possible working days as soon as I recieve your good response I would vividly send to you all the documents relating to this fund to enable you contact the bank of paramount is your bank account details for easy access of transfer and an irrevocable agreement to consolidate the trust over our mutual shearing interests.

All the whole documents issued on the day of deposit are all in my custody but my fear is how safe is the money when transfered into your account; please, I sincerely and honestly pleads that you do betray me as this is the only hope of survival left for me and my 2 younger onse.
Please if you appreciate helping us then you should endeavour to contact my only brother HILLS any time any day on his Mobile line
+225 07339040 so that the two of you will discuss it over and agree
together.

Your responds is highly solicited.

Thanks and best regards
PEACE (for the family)
E-MAIL: peace@colacao.es
Mobile: (+225)07 33 90 40.

::: posted by Curtis aka exeter_acres at 9/19/2004 02:05:00 PM

2 comments